i frequently make-believe what my future home will look like. i even have a layout drawn on on graph paper. i've re-designed my home several times. but seriously, guys. i have it nailed this time. it's going to be amazing. our bedroom is going to be huge. and the master bedroom closet is very creative/innovative. and the master bathroom? beyond what you can even imagine. but recently i was at a restaurant that had cool, funky tables with tops made of copper. so now the plan is to have an island with a copper countertop. because i'm so over granite and stainless steel in kitchens. but if the countertop doesn't really pan out, i'll at least have copper fixtures, because who doesn't love copper?
i'm so over bloggers who take their own pictures, but only take them using a shallow depth of field. sometimes it's good to have everything in focus.(why, pray-tell, do we only care about the chocolate chips in this picture, and not at all about the pumpkin pie spice?) is this not commonly understood? do some people not know you can actually change the aperture on a lens? do they even know what that means? this is part of the reason i resent digital photographers(who never learned the basics of photography). i mean, just because you own an expensive camera and can take a picture and look at it right away, doesn't mean you're good at it.
no, i'm not the best/most experienced photographer. yes, i'm a snob.
"i'm not expecting to be rich; i'm going to be middle class the rest of my life. and direct buy is a good way to..." (wheels turn, searching for the right words) "live above my means."
too bad for direct buy that this economic crisis has hit americans so hard. in fact, just this morning i heard a financial expert on the news say that "the time to live beyond our means has passed." (seriously? i never knew it was an option/encouraged)
it was still a success.
*to anyone who is reading this that has children and was considering me as your next babysitter (especially my neighbors...), please do not fret over this horrible tale of my babysitting days past. i have turned a new leaf and love entertaining children and will read to them as much as they want. this was just a "joke", trying to demonstrate to my blog readers i am clever and witty. ok? ok (whew).
i heart you so, so much, sunflower farmers' market. i have a feeling this is the beginning of a long, beautiful relationship.
* "gettysburg" by ratatat = wedding theme song
* "outside your door" by the adorable jake hawken = proposal
* "samson" by regina spektor = dating jake and falling in love
* anything from "hot fuss" by the killers = when i first moved to seattle and felt so much potential in my life it was palpable
* anything from "sixpence none the richer" by sixpence none the richer = breakup #1 with boyfriend freshman year at ricks, specifically spending hours in the tub with the lights out while the cd played
* "tragic kingdom" by no doubt = doing geo/trig homework in high school
* "lion king" soundtrack = middle school years. yeah, i was a dork
* "i've a friend" in the "standin' tall" series of read-a-long books/musicals = childhood through probably third grade
* "mister rodgers" record = pre-school age
* this one is technically a movie, but the sounds in the background of the opening scene are very comforting to me. "mr. mom" = pre-school
as you can see, i have an extensive list of songs that really resonate with me. like i said, music is a very powerful force in my life.
p.s. ben, if you read this (which you should, since i'm planning on sending an e-mail with a link here), feel free to cut and paste at your leisure for a "testimonial" section on the bhb.
*he loves it when i put my cold feet on him in bed
*he gives me the good leftovers because he knows that lunch is sometimes the only thing i have to look forward to on a workday
*he's wildly talented
*he thinks i'm wildly talented
*he's my permanent, built-in best friend
*he gives great back rubs
*he puts up with my grumpiness and whining
*he was able to woo me against all odds
*we laugh together at ourselves
i'm in love with absolutely everything on this site. i've been inspired to start yet another hobby.
i have yet to experiment with this, but i will soon. and as soon as i do, i will post pictures here.
gee. thanks hoff-man. i've been so down in the dumps lately because i didn't know where i could go to meet other hasselhoff fans. i mean, i guess germany is a good place to start, but a little out of my price range. i've scoured the whole wasatch front looking for social groups, clubs, anything. finally! a social networking site that will fill the void i've been feeling since baywatch went off the air 9 long years ago.
just so you know, yes, i did sign up.
so here are the rules:
1. you link back to the person who tagged you
2. post these rules on your blog
3. share six unimportant things about yourself
4. tag six random people at the end of your entry
5. let the tagged people know by leaving a comment on their blogs
6. enjoy the results!
unimportant things about me:
1) i finally got my camera yesterday!
2) i love to cook.
3) when i was young, my favorite pastime was playing with barbies. i took it waaay seriously.
4) i have had 19 roommates (not including the current roomie) in my lifetime.
5) i'm a sucker for ice cream.
6) i was obsessed with the brady bunch for the first 20 or so years of my life.
i don't know if i know six people with blogs to tag; let's see.... jules, stephanie, julie, meh...this is dumb.
it was the summer of '86. i was five. we had just moved back to the states from germany and before moving to arizona, we took a three month sabbatical in idaho falls, idaho to catch up on visiting time with the grandparents. one day, i woke up with a kink in my neck, it hurt desperately and i'm sure i was whining non-stop about it. to put me out of my misery, my mother ordered me to lay in bed with the left side of my face/head firmly planted on the sweltering heating pad. being the obedient child that i was, i did just so. i remember laying there for what seems like, looking back on it, about a solid month. i was on the twin bed in a room in my grandmother's house. it was farthest from the window with another twin bed just in front of me. during my month long bed rest, i saw a hummingbird outside the window and was the highlight of my life during this dark period of my childhood.
at one point, several weeks into the torture, my mother decided she should assess my progress. upon doing so, she discovered my left ear had been burned beyond recognition. there's a fuzzy memory of making a trip to the emergency room or doctor's office with a pillow glued to the side of my head (probably stuck to the oozing and burnt flesh). yes, my neck was so stiff, i needed the aid of a pillow on my trip so i could comfortably lay my head wherever i wanted.
anyway, long story made less long, my left ear had a puffy, swollen, and bright red burn on the outer edge of it. i had to endure years of questioning from school teachers, wondering what happened to such a lovely girl. which i would promptly and unabashedly reply, "my mom burned me with the heating pad!" it has been a long and painful journey back to being normal. i still have a tendency to immediately turn my head to the left when i meet someone new so they won't notice my deformity.
fast forward five months. jake's neck has been impossibly stiff the last two days. and my attempts to alleviate his pain by giving him a neck/head rub only made it worse. so, today i had the ingenious idea that he use the heating pad (careful....careful....we don't want a recurrance of the "great heating pad disaster of 1986"). who's laughing now?
jake found these on-line yesterday and i've been thinking about them ever since. ok, not entirely true. i fell in love with them and then forgot about them until i saw an ad for it on failblog. i've decided we'll need to get one. i can't justify it right now, but when we have a baby, i'm all over it. we do have a niece/nephew making an entrance in december. maybe it needs one. yes. yes, i think it does.
this weekend, my husband and i are taking a pseudo-vacation to visit my grandma in st george and then heading to las vegas for a day. mainly to see one of his freinds, but we will be making a few side trips while there.
1 center-cut pork loin roast (i think. i forgot to pay attention to what cut the butcher handed me)
1 1/2-3 cups water
1 onion, sliced, chopped, it doesn't matter; it eventually turns into delicious goo
1 bottle of your favorite bbq sauce
i sliced about 1/3 of the onion, very thin, and put it on the bottom of the crockpot. place roast on onions. the original recipe called for only 1 1/2 cups water, but it seemed like such a ridiculous amount, so i doubled the water. next, i chopped the remaining onion and put on top of the pork. cook on low setting overnight. in the morning, i dumped about 2/3 of the bottle of bbq sauce on it. once again, the recipe said to take the roast out, trim the fat, and cube the meat. i didn't have time, and the pork was pretty lean to begin with. so i just sort of poked it with a sharp knife. continue cooking on low all day. about two hours before i got home, i had jake check the status of everything. i told him to add more sauce and take out water, if it looked like it needed it. i'm not sure what he did. so i just tell you to use your better judgment. :) finally, get delicious, fresh rolls and use a fork to pull pork apart and put on your sandwich. that's it! it was sooo good. it's my lunch today and i cannot wait.
also, tell all your friends about my blog.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
My First Blog
Current mood: artistic
So, I've decided to enter into the world of blogging. I'm currently reading a book about a woman in NYC who embarked on a project in which she cooked every single recipe from Julia Child's cookbook, Master the Art of French Cooking. And, to document her progress, she wrote a blog daily about her adventures. In so doing, she became a semi-famous author, and no longer has to work in an office. Being the complete delusionary and optimist that I am, I am fully convinced that if I start a blog, I, too, will be able to quit my horrible job and become a professional blogger. And make millions.
I decided that, in order to spice up my myspace page, I needed to fill out one of those hideously long surveys so I could display my wit and charm through clever answers to pointless questions that no one would actually ever read. Well, I quickly became disheartened when, upon review of just a mere sample of what's out there, I realized that not only are these surveys hideously long, but they are hideous. I know about 99.9% of these surveys were written by high school sophomores, but really, what is this world coming to? The typos were enough to drive even the worst grammarian into insanity. It's painful. Really. There is little in this world that irks me more than 1) poor spelling 2) poor grammar and 3) the misuse of the apostrophe.
Let me make a side note here: if you want to read a truly amusing book that will make you laugh aloud, read "Eats Shoots and Leaves". Who knew a book dedicated to punctuation and the the misuse of these necessary little dots, dashes, and squiggles could be so entertaining. Oh, but it is.
Anyway, back to the matter at hand. While I was scanning these surveys to decide which one would really capture the essence of everything "Emily" I would literally flinch and make a small gasping sound everytime I saw one of these heinous typos. Needless to say, I started hyperventilating. It's lucky I escaped without passing out. I just couldn't bring myself to allow a, quote-unquote, word like "tooken" to appear on a page that is associated with me.
Maybe one day I will be able to bear the process of sorting through all the millions of surveys out there to find one that is not too long and asks obnoxious questions such as, "What was your crush wearing last Tuesday(chuckle chuckle snort)?" And maybe, even maybe, I will be able to bring myself to, heaven forbid, allow a typo to appear on my page. I'm sorry. Does anyone have a paper bag handy? I'm feeling slightly dizzy.
hi. me again. in the present. i have added the link to a chart that demonstrates my exact feelings on poor grammar and somatic symptoms to such.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Desperate is such an ugly word....
I spent a good, solid year-and-a-half after graduating with my Bachelor's degree looking for a job. I was selective at first as to which jobs I would apply. I had a couple miserable interviews that were really just more embarrassing than anything. Certainly no job offers. My savvy older sister helped me with my resume, helped me buy a three piece suit from Ann Taylor (you should see this suit; it's amazing. I look like I belong in a courtroom, corner office, or the very least, The Apprentice), and gave me more interview how-to packets than you can shake a stick at. It seemed, however, the less picky I became in my applications, the offers for even an interview waned. I mean, I know I'm not that impressive, but I like to prove my incompetence in person. If you can't make yourself look good on paper through slight exaggeration and mild fabrication, what do you really have left in this life? Well, the more, ahem...desperate I became, the more it must have shown in my cover letters, I'm sure(Dear Hiring Manager, I NEED a job! Please help. I'm sure that whatever your company does, I will excel at it and increase your _______(please fill in blank with applicable word: productivity, sales, number of employees, at the very least...) Call me."). This is the only logical conclusion I can come to, seeing that interviews were not even in my immediate future.
Now, to get a completely accurate picture of my despondency, let me tell you what my life was like at the time. I had just moved up to Seattle with the so-naive-it's-almost-cute attitude that I would find an affordable place to live in three (yes, three) days, and have a new job within a month. All this, without knowing anyone here besides my then-boyfriend's parents. So, you see, this "three days" somehow turned into four months. Yes, that's right. I was living with my boyfriend's parents for four months. Two of which, it was just the three of us. In a house. Together. Talk about awkward. It got worse when this said boyfriend moved to Seattle as well, two months after I did. I can sum it all up in one word: pure, unadulterated HELL (ok, three words).
So, here I was, living with the begrudging parents of my cheating (oh, did I mention he was cheating on me during this? Well, he was.) boyfriend, working "full time" (I put quotes on this only because I worked 40 hours a week, but had absolutely no benefits. They refused to put me in the system as full time to avoid this) at Old Navy, applying to about every job on monster.com in the greater Seattle metropolitan area.
See why I was so incredibly desperate?
I was floundering to get a job--any job, really--when (cue angelic chorus and clouds parting to let the sunbeams shine down onto the computer) I got a job offer. An actual offer. With the promise of no cold calling and a starting salary of $40,000 (wow! They sure lied on that one!), I took the job. Well, the job didn't turn out so great but we'll save those details for a future blog. But the point is this: floundering never, I repeat never, leads to what we're looking for. Being blinded by desperation only leads one to lower one's standards and taking the first thing that comes along.
Which leads me to the second half of this blog (and you thought it was already too long...ha!). I got a message from one of my dear friends from those torturous high school days today. She had a very keen insight. She likened the "job hunt" to dating. And it's awful. I have never heard a more true statement in my life.
Here I am, an item in the ever-dwindling cesspool we like to call dating, trying, unsuccessfully, to convince men that I am worth $20 on a Friday night (not in a hooker-ish way, mind you). However, there are no takers. There have been no takers for nearly eight months (groan... I didn't realize it had been that long). I thought this was a ward-wide epidemic, because when I would whine (yes, whine) to my girlfriends about my tragic love life, they all agreed. Not with me in the sense that they thought my love life is tragic, but in the sense that their love lives were tragic as well. But, come to think of it, maybe they were, in fact, just agreeing that I, and only I, had a tragic love life because of what I'm about to say next: come to find out, they all go on dates a lot more frequently than I do. We were complaining about the same, yet different, thing. It's like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Everyone has certain needs that must be met, once those needs are met, you graduate to the next level where there's a whole slew of new problems awaiting for you. Until, of course, you reach self-actualization, and everything is fine and dandy in the world. So, in Emily's Hierarchy of Relationships, there are levels in which one must achieve in life. First, you have a good, solid friendship base with the same gender (check). Second, a slightly more complicated friendship ring with the opposite gender (check). Third, being able to persuade the opposite gender that you are worth some quality one-on-one time on a fairly casual date (this is where I start to falter). Fourth, being able to coax the person in stage three into a more meaningful getting-to-know-you phase where you actually experiment with monogamous dating (I want so much to say "check" here. However, let it be known I've made it to this stage one and a half times). Fifth, is Relationship Actualization, aka marriage (I would appreciate all the Marrieds out there to stop snickering at my Singledom ignorance here. I realize there is a Marriage Hierarchy of Needs. But, obviously, I have no clue as what that entails.).
There are plenty of prospects beeping around on my radar. I'm just trying to figure out how to stop being the Stealth Female in the ward and actually make an appearance on a decent man's dating radar. And, whereas, I wouldn't say that I'm lowering my standards, I'm just...keeping my options open, if you will. So, luckily I haven't quite fallen into the Pit of Desperation, but, let me tell you, I'm on shaky ground, my friends. Shaky ground.
present-day emily here: i made it to "relationship actualization"! without lowering my standards!! hip-hip! (hooray!)
like i said. he gave me an in.
there are so many things to love about this place. you wouldn't think that utah would have a large population of non-english speaking mexicans. but i am here to tell you that you are wrong. this picture is proof enough. so is our apartment building (and the three surrounding it).
*please note that "los dinosaurios" looks like "los piggos"
you read that right. i am not referring to the chilled beverage. i am talking about the rapper. he has expanded his portfolio to include acting, specifically in "law & order" (which i also heart). he appears in the "svu" version as a cop, and i can't get enough of him. he brings a new hilarity to such a heavy show. this weekend there is an "svu" marathon on the usa network, with actors' commentaries during the commercial breaks. while advertising for this marathon, they had clips from these interviews with the actors. one of which featured ice-t saying, "iss gon' be crazy." oh, ice-t...you are one tall drink of water.
speaking of which, we will be getting season passes to seven peaks, the local water park (which also happens to be the largest water park in utah). the only reason we are getting season passes is because my employers has worked a deal with them to give us discounted passes, and the owners of the company are going to pay $20 of each pass we request. so, for $5 more than regular admission, we can go as often as we'd like this summer. nice.
1) it usually means a cold front is coming to town, and i don't want to have anything to do with that. it's the end of may, for crying out loud!
2) if the windows are open (and they usually are), it means i'm going to need to dust the house tomorrow. the wind blows in at least two inches of dirt.
3) it makes the house smell like sulphur. not sure why this happens, but it does. and it only happens at night. last night jake and i thought we were going to asphyxiate.
i do have to say, last night's storm provided some midnight entertainment. when i got up to close all the windows, i saw all the neighbors moving their cars around in the parking lot because the trees were dropping branches on the cars. i don't know why this was so amusing to me. probably because it was 2:00am and hearing thunks followed by car alarms going off is funny at that time of day.